Will you give God a Chance to Act?

 

God will lead you to the right girl or boy in His own good time if you will just give Him a chance #HughPyle

The Three Big Decisions of Your life

The Three Big Decisions of Your life

The way I see it, there are three major decisions/events in a person’s life.

#1 Accepting Christ’s free gift of salvation is the most important event in your life coupled with maintaining a vibrant relationship with Him through communion with the Holy Spirit.

#2 The calling that God has placed on you. Everyone has a calling (2 Peter 1:10). Your calling can be to serve in ministry, your career, a hobby, serving at your church, simply listening to people, and the list goes on. The possibilities are huge and fathomless because God makes us unique people that can use our talents in specific, yet personal ways. God has a specific thing—or things!—that He wants you to do in your lifetime. Have you sought Him for what that or those things are? Why or why not?

#3 The greatest decision that you will ever make in the natural world is who you marry. You will be bonded to this person for the rest of your earthly lives; you will need to follow God’s leading together in your marriage; and the fruit of your marriage may be a family. Are you going to marry the right one? How will you know? Call upon God through prayer. Does God want you to marry the specific man or woman you are interested in? The Bible talks about asking and receiving: if you need wisdom, then ask God for wisdom (James 1:5). Isn’t wisdom required to make the decision of who you will marry? Then why not ask God? God will speak! If you seek Him, you will find Him. Ask Him, you may be surprised what He reveals. If you truly hear His Words, they will line up with the Bible.

Know, Court, Marry

Know, Court, Marry

       For more information on these three items (know, court, marry) read Passion and Purity or Quest for Love by Elizabeth Elliot. They are awesome books!

Know: Getting to know the opposite sex. When I say getting to know I mean just talking, hanging out—in groups, spending time with other families, ect…  I do not mean sex and lust. You can have clean, meaningful friendships with those of the opposite sex without dating them or pursuing temptation.

Court: A period of time in which you move toward engagement and marriage after having consulted your parents and other mature Christians, but, most importantly, you have already received the approval of the Lord through prayer and seeking His will. 

Marriage: Uniting for as long as you both shall live.

Interested in somebody, but don’t know if you should say something?

#1 Go to God in prayer asking for direction and His will to be done.

Perquisite:  If you are a Christian you can only pursue a “relationship” with another Christian. The Lord has warned us not to be unequally yoked (2 Cor. 6:14-18).

#2 Go to your parents and other mature Christian counselors (older people than you), and talk to them about the person you are interested in. Ask them to partner with you in prayer and keep in touch. In short, have some accountability.

#3 Go to her Dad and ask for permission to court his daughter with the intention of marriage. Young men, I encourage you to do this before you say anything to the girl. There are many reasons why I say this, but the primary one is that her father deserves your respect. He, hopefully, is and has been the primary man in her life, and out of respect you should ask him about his little girl. If you don’t agree with me, then I ask you to put yourself in his position: how would you feel if your daughter is “going-out” with a young man that you know nothing about? That should be enough to send chills up and down your spine.

      Courting is not a synonym of dating. Dating is usually based on lust. Here’s why: a guy sees a girl that is “hot” and so he asks her out. His thoughts are nowhere near pure and his intention possibly worse. This is not God-honoring and it certainly is not honoring to the young woman. The purpose of courting is to get to know each other and find out if God wants the two of you to marry and when you know that it is, to take wise, Spirit-lead steps to preparation for your marriage.

     For the girls out there saying, “But what about a girl that is interested in a particular guy, should she go to his Dad?” The answer is no. Girls, you should not do the asking or pursue the young man. He is supposed to be the leader in the home and, if you marry him, he is to be the head of the household. If you pursue him, it would be easy for you two to get your roles mixed up from the very beginning. A woman leading her household is not operating in her God-given role, if her husband is still alive (Eph. 5:22-33).

#4 Talk to HER or HIM. Be careful and remember that your goal is to honor what God wants for each of you. Maybe God has already revealed to you that you would marry that person, but this doesn’t mean that you skip the courtship stage. Courtship does not have a time limit attached to it; but you should strive to keep God as the focus. Don’t just spend time alone together. Spend time during your courtship with each other’s families, serving at church, etc.… Don’t just stay alone together! Only spending time alone puts you in the center of the devil’s physical fun zone mentality. I would even submit that you do not spend time alone, period, before marriage. Scripture warns us to flee sexual temptation; not walk into situations where we know there could be some temptation and just resist. Therefore, I purpose, avoiding the temptation altogether—to flee like Joseph!—by going places with friends and family together instead. After all, when you marry, you will need to know each other’s family, so why not start spending time with all of them from the very beginning?

      The courtship model is much closer to what occurred in ancient Israel and colonial America than our current “progressive” search for finding a mate; and quite frankly, I think they understood this process to marriage a lot better.

      We have looked at a lot today and we have done so very briefly. Above all else, please seek the Lord’s will! Whether you completely agree with me or not, what is one principle that you know is Scriptural and that you can put into action that you saw today? Put it into action.

“He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.”

Isaiah 40:29-31 KJV

 

 

Resource: Dating or Courtship: Which is Biblical

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When the Time Comes to Consider a Courtship

When the Time Comes to Consider a Courtship

 

SEEK the LORD

     When the time comes to consider beginning a courtship, the most important thing is to seek the Lord. Before the man ever approaches his parents, mentors, and her father, he needs to have the Lord’s clear approval. This will involve waiting and most likely getting away to a quiet place to seek the Lord in addition to seeking counsel and blessing from his parents, mentors, and pastor(s)/elders.

      Once approved, remember that slow is fast in a courtship. Take time slowly to get to know each other, especially if you have not been good friends already. Do not try to rush marriage. If you spend six months focusing on learning who each other are and spending time with each other’s families and in serving together at church, you will learn much about one another.

         When you think that you are hearing something from the Lord, test the spirits to see whether they be of God and cast your burden on the Lord and wait. As my pastor says, “If you ‘cast your burden on the Lord’ and you’re still worrying after you’ve prayed, all you’ve done is complain.” Do not proceed forward in any direction until you know that God has told you to go forward. By remaining faithful to the last Word that we clearly know is from the Lord, we keep our self from much trouble. A story in the Bible puts this principle very clearly:

And, behold, there came a man of God out of Judah by the word of the Lord unto Bethel: and Jeroboam stood by the altar to burn incense. 2 And he cried against the altar in the word of the Lord, and said, O altar, altar, thus saith the Lord; Behold, a child shall be born unto the house of David, Josiah by name; and upon thee shall he offer the priests of the high places that burn incense upon thee, and men's bones shall be burnt upon thee. 3 And he gave a sign the same day, saying, This is the sign which the Lord hath spoken; Behold, the altar shall be rent, and the ashes that are upon it shall be poured out. 4 And it came to pass, when king Jeroboam heard the saying of the man of God, which had cried against the altar in Bethel, that he put forth his hand from the altar, saying, Lay hold on him. And his hand, which he put forth against him, dried up, so that he could not pull it in again to him. 5 The altar also was rent, and the ashes poured out from the altar, according to the sign which the man of God had given by the word of the Lord. 6 And the king answered and said unto the man of God, Intreat now the face of the Lord thy God, and pray for me, that my hand may be restored me again. And the man of God besought the Lord, and the king's hand was restored him again, and became as it was before. 7 And the king said unto the man of God, Come home with me, and refresh thyself, and I will give thee a reward. 8 And the man of God said unto the king, If thou wilt give me half thine house, I will not go in with thee, neither will I eat bread nor drink water in this place: 9 For so was it charged me by the word of the Lord, saying, Eat no bread, nor drink water, nor turn again by the same way that thou camest. 10 So he went another way, and returned not by the way that he came to Bethel.

 

11 Now there dwelt an old prophet in Bethel; and his sons came and told him all the works that the man of God had done that day in Bethel: the words which he had spoken unto the king, them they told also to their father. 12 And their father said unto them, What way went he? For his sons had seen what way the man of God went, which came from Judah. 13 And he said unto his sons, Saddle me the ass. So they saddled him the ass: and he rode thereon, 14 And went after the man of God, and found him sitting under an oak: and he said unto him, Art thou the man of God that camest from Judah? And he said, I am. 15 Then he said unto him, Come home with me, and eat bread. 16 And he said, I may not return with thee, nor go in with thee: neither will I eat bread nor drink water with thee in this place: 17 For it was said to me by the word of the Lord, Thou shalt eat no bread nor drink water there, nor turn again to go by the way that thou camest. 18 He said unto him, I am a prophet also as thou art; and an angel spake unto me by the word of the Lord, saying, Bring him back with thee into thine house, that he may eat bread and drink water. But he lied unto him. 19 So he went back with him, and did eat bread in his house, and drank water. 20 And it came to pass, as they sat at the table, that the word of the Lord came unto the prophet that brought him back: 21 And he cried unto the man of God that came from Judah, saying, Thus saith the Lord, Forasmuch as thou hast disobeyed the mouth of the Lord, and hast not kept the commandment which the Lord thy God commanded thee, 22 But camest back, and hast eaten bread and drunk water in the place, of the which the Lord did say to thee, Eat no bread, and drink no water; thy carcase shall not come unto the sepulchre of thy fathers.

 

23 And it came to pass, after he had eaten bread, and after he had drunk, that he saddled for him the ass, to wit, for the prophet whom he had brought back. 24 And when he was gone, a lion met him by the way, and slew him: and his carcase was cast in the way, and the ass stood by it, the lion also stood by the carcase. 25 And, behold, men passed by, and saw the carcase cast in the way, and the lion standing by the carcase: and they came and told it in the city where the old prophet dwelt. 26 And when the prophet that brought him back from the way heard thereof, he said, It is the man of God, who was disobedient unto the word of the Lord: therefore the Lord hath delivered him unto the lion, which hath torn him, and slain him, according to the word of the Lord, which he spake unto him. 27 And he spake to his sons, saying, Saddle me the ass. And they saddled him. 28 And he went and found his carcase cast in the way, and the ass and the lion standing by the carcase: the lion had not eaten the carcase, nor torn the ass. 29 And the prophet took up the carcase of the man of God, and laid it upon the ass, and brought it back: and the old prophet came to the city, to mourn and to bury him.

1 Kings 13:1-29 (KJV)

 

 

The Lord First

     The Bible is our direct access link to God’s truth and, unlike impressions in prayer and the counsel of mentors, it always provides the absolute truth. Seeking godly counsel and praying often are great spiritual disciplines, but we have to keep God’s Word in our minds to not be swayed by others imperfect advice and our faulty impressions. The Bible is the primary tool that the Holy Spirit uses to guide us; therefore, we must know it and consult it, not with our faulty understanding, but the understanding the Holy Spirit gives us as we read and meditate on it. We could summarize this principle as follows:

 

Listen for the Voice of God

And Seek Him

Be hungry for Him and His Word

 For His bread alone can satisfy.

    

Look at Character

      We are not to seek a wife (1 Corinthians 7:27), yet we are to keep our eyes open for character (Proverbs 18:22). Therefore, as we walk through life, we should keep our eyes open for the Biblical character a spouse is to have, yet not run around trying to find a spouse for ourselves and getting anxious and worried and anxious which is sin (Matthew 6:25-34). For example, men, are your eyes open to see a when a woman is a virtuous, God-fearing woman? Women, are your eyes open to see a faithful, God-fearing man?

And he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young men, whether poor or rich. 11 And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.  Ruth 3:10-11 (KJV)

 

Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out. 6 Most men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find? 7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him.  Proverbs 20:5-7 (KJV)

 

 

In Conclusion,

The issue of Dating or Courtship is not about our opinions, but the Word of God.

May our responses and actions be determined by the Word.

 

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·       Helpful content.

·       Endorsements of the book.

·       And scheduling a Courtship vs. Dating seminar.

 

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About the Author

   Ryan Marks is the Founder and Director of Focusing on the Mark Ministries, a registered DBA of Marks Enterprises, LLC. Ryan has preached, written, and taught as a minister since he was fourteen. Ryan’s heat beat is for young men—to help raise them up as faithful men who will lead their families, boldly stand for truth, and follow Christ no matter what the cost. He is the author of a growing library of books including: Biblical Manhood, Hope For When the Storm Hits, Multiple Streams of Income, and An Introduction to the Timothy Commission. Ryan daily blogs for FMM and posts on Twitter and Facebook to encourage others to stand with their Faith.  

   You can make a difference in Ryan’s life—please pray. At the time of this writing there are at least other five book projects that Ryan is planning on completing in 2014. One of those books will be a co-authored work with one of his mentors, Ken Zimmerman Jr, on God’s Remnant.

 

www.kenzimmermanjr.com

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Treating Women with Purity

Scripture:

      “Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;  The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.” 1Timothy 5:1-2 KJV

     This verse contains a lot in it. But the convicting part for me is where it says, “Treat . . .  older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” I know that I do not always treat my mother and sister the right way and you probably don’t either, but the point I want to make is: are we not only treating women, younger or older, as we would our family; but in the right way?

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Your notes on the subject

Thought 354: "Romantic Relationships"--Free in Principle, but not in Practice from Ryan's devotional book series Thoughts

 

 

Thought 354

“Romantic Relationships”

Free in Principle, but not in Practice

      God does have guidelines, and He will make a way for His perfect plan to be accomplished in our “Romantic Relationships” if we will wait on Him. The Lord has given us a free will which we can take a detour with that produces permanent consequences. God will chasten our disobedience to His absolute laws of right and wrong.

Side Note:

Noah Webster’s 1828 dictionary defines Romance as that which vaults or soars beyond the limits of fact and real life; Romancer as one who invents fictitious stories; and Romantic as Pertaining to romance, or resembling it ; wild ; fanciful ; extravagant ; as a romantic taste; romantic notions ; romantic expectations ; romantic zeal. Improbable or chimerical ; fictitious ; as a romantic tale. Fanciful ; wild ; full of wild or fantastic scenery ; as a romantic prospect or landscape ; a romantic situation.

In light of those definitions of “Romance,” I do not encourage or recommend it and have only used the word for the sake of relating today’s’ topic to you. Even though a modern definition may differ from the 1828’s, both still depict Romance as wild and fanciful. Far too many Christians fall into the trap its illusion, especially young girls. So many books and movies are filled with it and there are many people that search in vain to find it. But in light of a Biblical worldview, we should be very cautious with anything that propagates the idea of Romance. A further look into history reveals a concept called Greco-Roman love. This conception of love is based on the pagan Greeks and Romans who propagated perverted sexual pleasures, worship, “art,” and literature. A Christian should be on his (and her) guard against the widespread philosophy of “Romantic Love” for it certainly does not line up with God’s definition of Love-1 Corinthians 13.

  Our word for the day regarding “Romance” is WAIT. The Bible teaches in many of its’ verses about the importance of waiting. If we wait upon the Lord for our strength (Isaiah 40:31) and we wait for Him in the deserts and valleys that we go through (Isaiah 43:18-19), why not in our relationships? And why not in “Romantic relationships”?

      Readers, romantic relationships are not something to fool around with; and unfortunately many in the World and in the Church view dating, kissing, sex, lust, pornography, and temptation as a game, not as sin and a stumbling block to others. Many date simply for enjoyment or to-get-to-know the significant “beauty” that they laid-eyes-upon. When one does this he is putting his trust and his heart in the hands of his emotions and not in the hands of an Omnipotent, Sovereign God who already has the “right one” selected for us according to His will. The big issue is: will we wait (sexually and emotionally) on the one the Lord has for us or will we look—search—for The One and simply let “fate” lead us into the “perfect relationship”?

       Really listen to the following wisdom that many grasped too late in life to spare them pain:

#1 There are no perfect relationships. There are no perfect men or women, we all commit wrong.

#2 All are sinners and fall short of perfection: this further disproves the illusion of having a “perfected life,” because it isn’t even a possibility.

#3 Forgiveness is essential, we have to forgive the past of our future spouses and promise to not hold it over their heads. Just remember, we have all sinfully trespassed, but Christ can forgive them and will forgive Him if they repent and place their faith in Him. As His image bearers, we should forgive as well.

#4 Fate isn’t real, God directs everything, yet He allows Satan to tempt you at times and He restricts Satan at other times (check out the story of Job)

#5 Looking for something that God has already promised to give you one day is just impatience and it leads out hearts into a state of being more prone to sin because we are ‘weary’ of waiting. Don’t try to hurry God along because it won’t work.

#6 Waiting for the Lord is always the best option. Obedience to the Father brings blessing, but disobedience brings a curse (check out God’s promise to the Israelites).

#7 God has picked someone out for you that is beyond what you could ever find on your own.

                I encourage you to make the choice to surrender EVERYTHING to God, even “ROMANCE.”

 

Thought 326: Establishing God's Guidelines for Romance from Ryan's devotional book series Thoughts

Thought 326

Establishing God’s Guidelines for Romance

     Romance is a commonly misunderstood subject in our culture today. Do you know any of God’s guidelines for marriage? What about dating, I mean, is there anything like that in the Bible? Or what about courtship? This is only a couple of questions, but there is a lot of Biblical principle and wisdom on this subject of “relationships.”

      First, following the direction of the Holy Spirit in alignment with the Word is everything. Many follow and seek God’s direction and is will in their career, problems, and hardships, so why not in “romance” to? After all, this area is very confusing, painful and routine for just about everyone that attempts to build their own ”Hollywood love” story. Even Christians many times passionately want the lights, the  fireworks, and the THE HEAT of a head over heels relationship with the opposite sex.

     God does have rules though, and those rules are for our protection. For instance, nearly every New Testament book warns us of sexual immorality: it is a big “no no” for God’s people. The Bible says there is not even to be a hint of sexual immorality among you (Ephesians 5:3). Not even a hint! Unfortunately, that is not what is thought of when people look at the American Church.

      Older readers, think back to the times of your youth with the young men or young women; likewise you young’uns think back to your recent past or just examine your present “relationship.” Are dating relationships today void of sexual immorality? Among Christians circles? Is there truly not even a hint of sexual immorality, which is as simple as a wanting desire (lust, which is a form of pride)?

        Hands interlocking around his neck she passionately kissed him . . . he grabbed her and kissed her (that was the first time he had ever expressed his “feelings” for her), but just a few hours later everything he ever knew as right was thrown out the window as they stared at each other longingly in the back of his car. . . . .and now they are both feeling guilty for the crime they have just committed before God and what they had stolen from each other’s future spouses . . .

        This story and many others out there relate the timeless truths of Proverbs. Just take a look and see how many of these stories are described in other terms in that book—you will be amazed what you find.

⁹  In the twilight, in the evening, in the black and dark night:

¹⁰ And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and subtil of heart.

¹¹ (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:

¹² Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every corner.)

¹³ So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto him,

¹⁴ I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.

¹⁵ Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I have found thee.

¹⁶ I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with fine linen of Egypt.

¹⁷ I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.

¹⁸ Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace ourselves with loves.

¹⁹ For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey

--Proverbs 7:9-19 KJV

  Solomon’s life, like his father David’s, was filled with compromise when women were “part of the package”. Solomon gave into beauty, charm, and sex – the very things that God wrote through him not to do when the book of Proverbs was penned. The man had A THOUSAND WIVES! For being so wise, he turned out to be “pretty lame.” Only one wife is permitted to a man (Genesis 2). It has been that way since the beginning.  God created one Eve for Adam, not a Hiram. How could Solomon ere so greatly; after all, the guy had it made? Because he gave up his relationship with God for a season just to have the ladies. Young men, young ladies are important. I mean, I am excited that one day I will spend my days with the amazing woman that I can call my wife for the rest of my years and every young woman should be treated with respect. But . . . . we need to surrender our desires to God. The book of Psalms declares that if you delight yourself in the Lord he will give you the desires of your heart (Psalms 37:4). But understand this: those desires are not lustful.

     The warnings of Solomon in the book of Proverbs are amazingly applicable to our lives. Solomon was the wisest that ever lived (other than Christ), yet he didn’t even follow the commands that he gave to his own son to whom he appears to have written the Proverbs. Solomon wrote the Proverbs under the direction of the Holy Spirit and did not truly ‘think them up’ on his own; therefore, these aren’t just guys’ opinions, they are the very Words of God.