When
the Time Comes to Consider a Courtship
SEEK
the LORD
When the time comes to consider beginning
a courtship, the most important thing is to seek the Lord. Before the man ever
approaches his parents, mentors, and her father, he needs to have the Lord’s
clear approval. This will involve waiting and most likely getting away to a
quiet place to seek the Lord in addition to seeking counsel and blessing from
his parents, mentors, and pastor(s)/elders.
Once approved, remember that slow is fast
in a courtship. Take time slowly to get to know each other, especially if you
have not been good friends already. Do not try to rush marriage. If you spend
six months focusing on learning who each other are and spending time with each
other’s families and in serving together at church, you will learn much about
one another.
When you think that you are hearing
something from the Lord, test the spirits to see whether they be of God and
cast your burden on the Lord and wait. As my pastor says, “If you ‘cast your
burden on the Lord’ and you’re still worrying after you’ve prayed, all you’ve
done is complain.” Do not proceed forward in any direction until you know that
God has told you to go forward. By remaining faithful to the last Word that we
clearly know is from the Lord, we keep our self from much trouble. A story in
the Bible puts this principle very clearly:
And,
behold, there came a man of God out of Judah by the word of the Lord unto Bethel: and Jeroboam stood by
the altar to burn incense. 2 And he cried against the altar in
the word of the Lord, and said, O
altar, altar, thus saith the Lord;
Behold, a child shall be born unto the house of David, Josiah by name; and upon
thee shall he offer the priests of the high places that burn incense upon thee,
and men's bones shall be burnt upon thee. 3 And he gave a sign the same day,
saying, This is the sign which
the Lord hath spoken; Behold, the
altar shall be rent, and the ashes that are
upon it shall be poured out. 4 And it came to pass, when king
Jeroboam heard the saying of the man of God, which had cried against the altar
in Bethel, that he put forth his hand from the altar, saying, Lay hold on him.
And his hand, which he put forth against him, dried up, so that he could not
pull it in again to him. 5 The altar also was rent, and the
ashes poured out from the altar, according to the sign which the man of God had
given by the word of the Lord. 6 And
the king answered and said unto the man of God, Intreat now the face of the Lord thy God, and pray for me, that my
hand may be restored me again. And the man of God besought the Lord, and the king's hand was restored
him again, and became as it was
before. 7 And the king said unto the man of
God, Come home with me, and refresh thyself, and I will give thee a reward. 8 And
the man of God said unto the king, If thou wilt give me half thine house, I
will not go in with thee, neither will I eat bread nor drink water in this
place: 9 For so was it charged me by the
word of the Lord, saying, Eat no
bread, nor drink water, nor turn again by the same way that thou camest. 10 So
he went another way, and returned not by the way that he came to Bethel.
11 Now there dwelt an old prophet in
Bethel; and his sons came and told him all the works that the man of God had
done that day in Bethel: the words which he had spoken unto the king, them they
told also to their father. 12 And their father said unto them,
What way went he? For his sons had seen what way the man of God went, which
came from Judah. 13 And he said unto his sons, Saddle
me the ass. So they saddled him the ass: and he rode thereon, 14 And
went after the man of God, and found him sitting under an oak: and he said unto
him, Art thou the man of God
that camest from Judah? And he said, I am.
15 Then
he said unto him, Come home with me, and eat bread. 16 And
he said, I may not return with thee, nor go in with thee: neither will I eat
bread nor drink water with thee in this place: 17 For
it was said to me by the word of the Lord,
Thou shalt eat no bread nor drink water there, nor turn again to go by the way
that thou camest. 18 He said unto him, I am a prophet also as thou art; and an angel spake unto me by
the word of the Lord, saying,
Bring him back with thee into thine house, that he may eat bread and drink
water. But he lied unto him. 19 So
he went back with him, and did eat bread in his house, and drank water. 20 And
it came to pass, as they sat at the table, that the word of the Lord came unto the prophet that brought
him back: 21 And he cried unto the man of God
that came from Judah, saying, Thus saith the Lord,
Forasmuch as thou hast disobeyed the mouth of the Lord, and hast not kept the commandment which the Lord thy God commanded thee, 22 But
camest back, and hast eaten bread and drunk water in the place, of the which the Lord
did say to thee, Eat no bread, and drink no water; thy carcase shall not come
unto the sepulchre of thy fathers.
23 And it came to pass, after he had
eaten bread, and after he had drunk, that he saddled for him the ass, to wit, for the prophet whom he had
brought back. 24 And when he was gone, a lion met
him by the way, and slew him: and his carcase was cast in the way, and the ass
stood by it, the lion also stood by the carcase. 25 And,
behold, men passed by, and saw the carcase cast in the way, and the lion
standing by the carcase: and they came and told it in the city where the old prophet dwelt. 26 And
when the prophet that brought him back from the way heard thereof, he said, It is the man of God, who was
disobedient unto the word of the Lord:
therefore the Lord hath delivered
him unto the lion, which hath torn him, and slain him, according to the word of
the Lord, which he spake unto him.
27 And
he spake to his sons, saying, Saddle me the ass. And they saddled him. 28 And
he went and found his carcase cast in the way, and the ass and the lion
standing by the carcase: the lion had not eaten the carcase, nor torn the ass. 29 And
the prophet took up the carcase of the man of God, and laid it upon the ass,
and brought it back: and the old prophet came to the city, to mourn and to bury
him.
1 Kings 13:1-29 (KJV)
The Lord First
The Bible is our direct access link to
God’s truth and, unlike impressions in prayer and the counsel of mentors, it
always provides the absolute truth. Seeking godly counsel and praying often are
great spiritual disciplines, but we have to keep God’s Word in our minds to not
be swayed by others imperfect advice and our faulty impressions. The Bible
is the primary tool that the Holy Spirit uses to guide us; therefore, we
must know it and consult it, not with our faulty understanding, but the
understanding the Holy Spirit gives us as we read and meditate on it. We could summarize this principle as follows:
Listen
for the Voice of God
And
Seek Him
Be
hungry for Him and His Word
For His bread alone can satisfy.
Look at
Character
We are not to seek a wife (1
Corinthians 7:27), yet we are to keep our eyes open for character (Proverbs
18:22). Therefore, as we walk through life, we should keep our eyes open for
the Biblical character a spouse is to have, yet not run around trying to find a
spouse for ourselves and getting anxious and worried and anxious which is sin
(Matthew 6:25-34). For example, men, are your eyes open to see a when a woman
is a virtuous, God-fearing woman? Women, are your eyes open to see a faithful,
God-fearing man?
And he said, Blessed be thou of the Lord, my daughter: for thou hast shewed more kindness in
the latter end than at the beginning, inasmuch as thou followedst not young
men, whether poor or rich. 11 And
now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all
the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman.
Ruth 3:10-11 (KJV)
Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of
understanding will draw it out. 6 Most
men will proclaim every one his own goodness: but a faithful man who can find? 7 The just man walketh in his integrity: his
children are blessed after
him. Proverbs 20:5-7 (KJV)
In Conclusion,
The issue of Dating or
Courtship is not about our opinions, but the Word of God.
May our responses and
actions be determined by the Word.
Check Our Website for, Lord willing:
·
An exhaustive Bible
study Book that walks through every passage in the Bible that deals with guy
and gal relationships, marriage, and sexuality.
·
A devotional book.
·
Helpful content.
·
Endorsements of the
book.
·
And scheduling a
Courtship vs. Dating seminar.
Focusing
on the Mark Ministries
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About the Author
Ryan Marks is the Founder and Director of
Focusing on the Mark Ministries, a registered DBA of Marks Enterprises, LLC.
Ryan has preached, written, and taught as a minister since he was fourteen.
Ryan’s heat beat is for young men—to help raise them up as faithful men who
will lead their families, boldly stand for truth, and follow Christ no matter
what the cost. He is the author of a growing library of books including: Biblical Manhood, Hope For When the Storm
Hits, Multiple Streams of Income, and An
Introduction to the Timothy Commission. Ryan daily blogs for FMM and posts
on Twitter and Facebook to encourage others to stand with their Faith.
You can make a difference in Ryan’s
life—please pray. At the time of this writing there are at least other five
book projects that Ryan is planning on completing in 2014. One of those books
will be a co-authored work with one of his mentors, Ken Zimmerman Jr, on God’s
Remnant.
