Establishing God’s Guidelines for Romance
Romance is a commonly
misunderstood subject in our culture today. Do you know any of God’s guidelines
for marriage? What about dating, I mean, is there anything like that in the
Bible? Or what about courtship? This is only a couple of questions, but there
is a lot of Biblical principle and wisdom on this subject of “relationships.”
First, following the
direction of the Holy Spirit in alignment with the Word is everything. Many
follow and seek God’s direction and is will in their career, problems, and
hardships, so why not in “romance” to? After all, this area is very confusing,
painful and routine for just about everyone that attempts to build their own “Hollywood
love” story. Even Christians many times passionately want the lights, the
fireworks, and the THE HEAT of a head over heels relationship with the opposite
sex.
God does have rules
though, and those rules are for our protection. For instance, nearly every New
Testament book warns us of sexual immorality: it is a big “no no” for God’s
people. The Bible says there is not even to be a hint of sexual immorality
among you (Ephesians 5:3). Not even a hint! Unfortunately, that is not what is
thought of when people look at the American Church.
Older readers, think
back to the times of your youth with the young men or young women; likewise you
young’uns think back to your recent past or just examine your present
“relationship.” Are dating relationships today void of sexual immorality? Among
Christians circles? Is there truly not even a hint of sexual immorality, which is
as simple as a wanting desire (lust, which is a form of pride)?
Hands interlocking
around his neck she passionately kissed him . . . he grabbed her and kissed her
(that was the first time he had ever expressed his “feelings” for her), but
just a few hours later everything he ever knew as right was thrown out the
window as they stared at each other longingly in the back of his car. . . .
.and now they are both feeling guilty for the crime they have just committed
before God and what they had stolen from each other’s future spouses . . .
This story and many others out there relate the timeless truths of
Proverbs. Just take a look and see how many of these stories are described in
other terms in that book—you will be amazed what you find.
9 In the twilight, in the evening,
in the black and dark night:
10 And, behold, there met him a woman with the attire of an harlot, and
subtil of heart.
11 (She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house:
12 Now is she without, now in the streets, and lieth in wait at every
corner.)
13 So she caught him, and kissed him, and with an impudent face said unto
him,
14 I have peace offerings with me; this day have I payed my vows.
15 Therefore came I forth to meet thee, diligently to seek thy face, and I
have found thee.
16 I have decked my bed with coverings of tapestry, with carved works, with
fine linen of Egypt.
17 I have perfumed my bed with myrrh, aloes, and cinnamon.
18 Come, let us take our fill of love until the morning: let us solace
ourselves with loves.
19 For the goodman is not at home, he is gone a long journey
--Proverbs 7:9-19 KJV
Solomon’s life, like his
father David’s, was filled with compromise when women were “part of the
package”. Solomon gave into beauty, charm, and sex – the very things that God
wrote through him not to do when the book of Proverbs was penned. The man had A
THOUSAND WIVES! For being so wise, he turned out to be “pretty lame.” Only one
wife is permitted to a man (Genesis 2). It has been that way since the beginning. God
created one Eve for Adam, not a Hiram. How could Solomon ere so greatly;
after all, the guy had it made? Because he gave up his relationship with God
for a season just to have the ladies. Young men, young ladies are important. I
mean, I am excited that one day I will spend my days with the amazing woman
that I can call my wife for the rest
of my years and every young woman should be treated with respect. But . . . .
we need to surrender our desires to God. The book of Psalms declares that if
you delight yourself in the Lord he will give you the desires of your heart
(Psalms 37:4). But understand this: those
desires are not lustful.
The warnings of Solomon
in the book of Proverbs are amazingly applicable to our lives. Solomon was the
wisest that ever lived (other than Christ), yet he didn’t even follow the
commands that he gave to his own son to whom he appears to have written the
Proverbs. Solomon wrote the Proverbs under the direction of the Holy Spirit and
did not truly ‘think them up’ on his own; therefore, these aren’t just guys’
opinions, they are the very Words of God.
