An
Introduction to Purity: Forgiving Yourself and Others
But fornication, and all
uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh
saints; 4 Neither
filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but
rather giving of thanks. 5 For
this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is
an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. 6 Let no man deceive you with
vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the
children of disobedience. 7 Be
not ye therefore partakers with them. 8 For
ye were sometimes darkness, but now are
ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light: 9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness
and truth;) 10 Proving
what is acceptable unto the Lord. 11 And
have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them. 12 For it is a shame even to
speak of those things which are done of them in secret. 13 But all things that are
reproved are made manifest by the light: for whatsoever doth make manifest is
light. 14 Wherefore
he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall
give thee light. 15 See
then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise, 16 Redeeming the time, because
the days are evil. 17 Wherefore
be ye not unwise, but understanding what the will of the Lord is. 18 And be not drunk with wine,
wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit; 19 Speaking to yourselves in
psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart
to the Lord; 20 Giving
thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord
Jesus Christ; 21 Submitting
yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
Ephesians 5:3-21 (KJV)
When does forgiveness take place after a
disagreement?
We do need to fight to keep ourselves pure
and the source of your strength must come from an intimate relationship with
Jesus Christ, or else we will fall.
However, we must realize and come to grips with the fact in our heart that our
future spouse may not have a pure past. We need to fight for purity, be a voice
for purity and stand against sin, but we also must be forgiving and merciful
when someone truly repents.
Repentance starts with brokenness where
you cry out to the Lord and admit that you have transgressed the law of God.
After that, the Lord, transforms our heart and empowers us by His Spirit to
walk in His path in the power of the Spirit. In short, real repentance is
evidenced by a changed life over time. We no longer habitually walk in sin.
Our future spouses must be committed to
purity before we commit to marry them. However, they may have only been
committed for two to three years, even though they’ve had a decade plus of sin
in the past. We must forgive like the Lord does. I am not saying that we should
not be cautious and discerning about whether someone has truly repented—we need
to test their fruit (STOP AND READ: 2 Corinthians 13:5, 1 John 4:1, Matthew
7:15-20)! Yet, we must extent God’s forgiveness and not nag them about their
past when upset with them. We all sin, and we must forgive as we have been
forgiven or else we have no part in the Lord Jesus Christ:
And be ye kind one to another,
tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath
forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)
For if ye forgive men their
trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: 15 But if ye forgive not men
their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14-15 (KJV)
Put on therefore, as the elect of
God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind,
meekness, longsuffering; 13 Forbearing
one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any:
even as Christ forgave you, so also do
ye.
Colossians 3:12-13 (KJV)
If you have compromised, you can regain
the ground that you have yielded by submitting to the Lord. Seeking forgivness
is not about changing your consciousness level in regard to your guilt (as my
college counseling course said). No, seeking forgivness is about laying your
sin at the cross, let Jesus pay for it and accept His sacrifice that He paid
with HIS LIFE for your purity.You may have lost your virginity, but God can
purify your heart and transform your life. You don’t have to keep living the way
that you have been. There’s hope. How do I know? Well, for one, Scripture says
that Christ forgives us and creates us into a new creation. But second, because
I gave my heart away countless times as you’ll see in the next chapter.
