Men
and Women
Men,
take the lead
When it comes to beginning a relationship
between a man and woman with the intention of marriage, it is the man’s job.
Man is an initiator and will be the leader of the home; therefore, he is to
lead, to initiate a proposal for courtship to the woman’s father (once he has
received his parent’s and other mentors’ approval).
The general pattern of Scripture backs up
that men are initiators. The only exception that was blessed that comes to mind
is Ruth, but in Ruth’s case, she was acting in obedience to her mother-in-law;
Ruth was not being a forward woman and approaching Boaz with a proposal of
marriage of her own will.
Women,
be careful to follow his lead
The woman is to be the follower in the
relationship. This does not mean that she does not have a voice and never
offers an opinion, but she recognizes that her role is to support the man that
she marries. She is to be his companion, lover, and helpmate in the calling God
has given him. Therefore, as the Scripture says, a meek and quiet spirit
becomes her (STOP AND READ: 1 Peter 3:1-6). From a meek and quiet spirit, seek
to learn your suitor’s vision. Does this man have a God-given vision, a sense
of purpose and direction from the Lord in his life? Is he in close relationship
with the Lord? Is he respected by others, both Believers and Unbelievers? Is he
a faithful man? Is he ready to provide (this is key)? Does he have a measure of
wisdom? And, perhaps most importantly (after being a Christian), do you respect
him?
If you respect the man for who he is, you
will be greatly prepared to submit and follow his lead in marriage. A man is
keenly aware of when a woman does not respect him; and he knows (often from
experience) that a woman’s criticism of him hurts the most, cutting to his very
heart and striking against his will to push on.
Studies show that when a man and woman
are married, they actually are wealthier. Within traditional households where the father is the
breadwinner, and the mother is a homemaker (or works alongside her husband in
his business), the family benefits substantially. Wealth is kept in the family.
Frugality abounds more. And the best blessings: the family is happier.
Additionally, the parents enjoy sexual pleasures more often than those
unmarried who are running around trying to purchase sex, and a motivation to
work hard and succeed is natural. Why? Largely because God has designed married
men want to provide for their families and to be motivated by those that they
love to do so.
