Scope
of the Literature Review and Courtship Capstone Project for Thomas Edison State College
Introduction
to the Chapter
Dating or courtship? It is a surprisingly
big debate today. Dating tends to be the most widely accepted form of
pre-marriage romantic relationship, but courtship is still held onto by those
who value the traditions of the past. However, both have produced certain
effects on society, the lives of those who hold to them, and even influence
one’s Faith. What follows is an examination of these paradigms, where they each
lead, and what their effects have been on the lives of several authors who have
written on the subject.
Background
of the Topic
Society always has had a standard for
pre-marriage relationships; whether a dowry was paid as has been a common
practice in the East for millennia (Dowries) or a yearlong betrothal as in the
Jewish culture (Jewish Marriage Customs), or an arranged marriage which has
spanned every age. Today, young people tend to try to find their mate on their
own and it seems to be producing distasteful results such as increased divorce
rates, lack of commitment, and confusing emotion for true love. There must be a
balanced way to live as a single up to the point of marriage. The Bible
contains guidelines and those should be adhered to; however, the main dilemma
is finding a way to have wisdom in one’s relationships.
It is common knowledge today that most
“dating” relationships of young people are based solely on emotion and passion
that wears off after a few months. So the relationship ends and then another is
made with another partner until that one gets boring like the last one did.
Courtship poses a different mindset altogether, but it can be hard to define.
Some view courtship as simply being an arranged marriage or sitting in the
parlor of a young ladies home. No matter what view is taken, though, there is
one main element of a “courtship” approach to pre-marriage relationships and it
is this: that there are guidelines that need to be established in order to
protect both parties and involve the wisdom of older individuals in their
potential decision to marry.
Problem
Statement
The dilemma is clear, young people need
to marry one day, but no one seems to have an answer on how to go about that
today. “Follow your heart” the world cries, but all that seems to be producing
is short-term passion and evacuation of marriage once the honeymoon excitement
wears off. How should young people proceed? Are there any basic guidelines for
a pre-marriage relationship with the opposite sex? Is there any wisdom that can
be applied to a pre-marriage relationship? To answer those questions, history
must be studied, the Bible’s teachings understood, and works related to the
subject will be evaluated.
Professional
Significance of the Work
This work was chosen because the author,
after watching peers and friend’s lives in this area, saw a great need for
solid answers for the dilemma of dating and courtship. Many young people
observed by the author, simply get caught up in emotion and do things that they
will regret twenty years down the road for “love” today. Believing that
marriage is sacred and that fooling around with sex and physical affection
prior to marriage is damaging has resulted in a motivation to research and
present findings for those who will listen and find a wiser way to live in this
area of life.
Overview
of Methodology
By walking through and critically
analyzing the historical development of pre-marriage relationships, looking at
the effects of choosing either dating or courtship on one’s marriage,
determining which is Biblically based, analyzing what the effects on the
culture are based on which is chosen, compiling specific elements that are
wise, and even necessary, to include in a pre-marriage relationship, and which
one seems to logically be the wisest is the method of problem solving that will
be used. The main sources will be the Bible’s overall teaching on marriage,
history’s record, the writings of modern day writers, namely Joshua Harris (I
Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship), Voddie
Baucham (What He Must Be: If He Wants To Marry My Daughter), Andrew Stanley
(The Principle of the Path), and Paul Jehle (Dating vs. Courtship), who have
dealt with the thesis extensively. The research will be presented in this paper
and a creative project involving a book, a YouTube video, and powerpoint slides
for a seminar will present the findings to the culture at large.
Delimitations
This project will not be exhaustive due to
the limited time frame allotted and the emphasis on creatively offering a
solution as opposed to just documenting scores of pages of dry research.
Therefore, a through, yet brief analysis will be used as opposed to a lengthy
and detailed, since the goal is to make the findings presentable to the
population at large by actually publishing the creative project after it is
completed.
Definition
of Terms
The primary terms used will be dating and
courtship. Dating will be defined as pursing a pre-marriage relationship based
solely on “chemistry,” lust, loneliness, or following one’s heart emotion.
Courtship will be defined as a pre-marriage relationship that emphasizes
personal responsibility, asks and considers the wisdom of those with
experience, and enters into a relationship based on the character of the other
individual and one’s own maturity. The term love will also be dealt with and
mean one of two things: either 1) lustful emotion that simply emphasizes
feeling and attraction or 2) true commitment and life-long dedication and
service sacrificially for another individual. Either definition of love can
easily be inferred based on the context in which it appears.
Summary
In summary, dating and
courtship pose an important dilemma today. There are questions that must be
answered such as which is Biblically based, what principles are necessary and
wise to include in one’s relationship, and how is culture affected by the
choice of an individual? The fruit of both the dating view and courtship view
will be clearly contrasted. And to find those answers, history, the Bible, and
authorities on the subject will be consulted, critically analyzed, and a
solution reached.
Works
Cited
Baucham Jr.,
Voddie. What He Must Be: It He Wants To Marry My Daughter. Wheaton:
Crossway, 2009.
“Dowries.” Info
Please.com. 10 Jan. 2014. <http://www.infoplease.com/spot/dowries1.html>
Harris, Joshua. I
Kissed Dating Goodbye: A New Attitude Toward Romance and Relationships.
Colorado Springs: Multnomah, 2003.
Harris, Joshua. Boy
Meets Girl: Say Hello to Courtship. Colorado Springs: Multnomah, 2005.
Jehle, Paul. Dating
vs. Courtship. Plymouth: The Plymouth Rock Foundation, 1997.
Showers, Dr.
Renald. “Jewish Marriage Customs.” Bible
Study Manuals.net. 10 Jan. 2014 <http
Stanley, Andrew.
The Principle of the Path. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2009.
